Cardinal Virtues & Chemical Madness

This is kind of long..but…it’s better than getting ready for school.

I love my jobs, I love all three of them respectively for my own reasons. I love helping people, and I love my girls at Vickys. I also like the benifits from working there also. I appreciate the hours. But it can get rough. It’s retail.

I love tourguiding. As much as I say I don’t sometimes, it makes me so much money, and I love most of the people that end up going on my tours. My boss is laid back, so I get to pretty much do what I want.

But I have to say, I absolutely would hate my life if it wasn’t for Nissan. EVEN THOUGH sometimes, they fustraite the hell out of me…knowing I can show up whenever, do a bunch of things, the fact that I pretty much MADE my own position there, and get to hang out with people I like all day…it’s really comforting. Some days suck, some days are awesome. Yesterday, I was there for 8 hours because I’m not going in again this week. I went to lunch with Drew, helped TJ with cars, shot some photos, joked around with Nate, and chatted with everyone. Made a deal to take some more tests, scammed Gary for coffee, drove around whatever car I wanted, and at the end of the night, my manager and the cashier, even during hours of business, when they had OTHER stuff to do, sat and helped me with my stats homework. I ended up getting a really good grade, because…I think I sort of realized how to do some of it. I’m really motivated to study for this damn test.

It kind of made me feel really good to know that people will stop and help you out. I like being called “kid” by the F&I manager, and I like the sales manager stopping to help me during a deal. It makes me feel like my dad’s around, like he used to be, helping me out on my homework. I haven’t had math homework in years, and it’s been even longer ago that I’ve had HELP on my homework.

This semester just sucks because frankly, I’m getting SO many hours doing shit…I’m trying to keep up financially, but there are things that just want to suck me dry. And frankly, it’s wicked stressful…but its nice to know that work is a place I can escape that stress..even if it kind of causes it.
School sucks the most right now because for the first time in my life, I’m caught up with classes where…in all but one I don’t understand ANY of the things that I’m being taught…at all. I don’t remember French, I don’t grasp statistics, I’m not good with Photoshop, and this bio is really intense and it’s for majors, and it’s trying to kick my ass.

I don’t know why..but yesterday, when I was getting math problems right for the first time on my own because a few people took their time to help ME out..it really motivated me. It’s like, they believe in me. They want me to do well in other aspects of life so I can get the hell out of there. Or maybe they’re just trying to be nice. Either way, I saw it as kind of a big deal.

And even though I’m tired because I went home to my boyfriend’s house, made pasta, and snuggled until I fell asleep (therefore, cue morning commute)…for once, the traffic didn’t bother me. Because today, I DON’T have ANY work…today is my first day off in a while, and I’m for once going to UTILIZE IT.