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I'm a systematically disappointing spin-off of the best friend you'll ever have and the worst enemy you'll ever make. I hate the third month of the year, I love Betty White, I fear old age, I'm a decent writer, an okay pianist, a terrible jack-in-the-box of puns and tear jerking one liners, and I can't dance.
I make every error of human reasoning, I don't break promises, I'm not a solipsist, I can't waste time, I'm a hypocrite, & a flirtatious cornucopia of cliche causes and ironic effects. My heart and my head are the same like in shrimp, and I'm begging just begging to get my heart broken by the next Byronic hero that walks by.
Give me a polar bear, and I'll give you my soul-which is nothing but a blissful reminder of why you miss childhood, and a spinning vortex of stinging insecurities and paralyzing self-doubt.
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AND he’s ending the war with Iraq so troops will be back by the end of the year, just reblogging so those ignorant fucks who think Obama hasn’t done anything can STFU
The donuts just add to our obesity problem, which will then make us develop type 2 diabetes or go on diet pills. And bam..that puts the money in the pockets of the pharmaceutical industries so he can buy his way back into office because he’s not actually doing us anything but buying us donuts, which hi, DD doesn’t need your help, it’s the only fucking chain of anything I’ve seen continue to expand. But that’s because I’m from New England where people reblog this like it’s supposed to be a good thing.
(Source: rillawafers, via meagainstthemusiic)
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