I'm a systematically disappointing spin-off of the best friend you'll ever have and the worst enemy you'll ever make. I hate the third month of the year, I love Betty White, I fear old age, I'm a decent writer, an okay pianist, a terrible jack-in-the-box of puns and tear jerking one liners, and I can't dance.
I make every error of human reasoning, I don't break promises, I'm not a solipsist, I can't waste time, I'm a hypocrite, & a flirtatious cornucopia of cliche causes and ironic effects. My heart and my head are the same like in shrimp, and I'm begging just begging to get my heart broken by the next Byronic hero that walks by.
Give me a polar bear, and I'll give you my soul-which is nothing but a blissful reminder of why you miss childhood, and a spinning vortex of stinging insecurities and paralyzing self-doubt.
I never intended to include Chris Brown’s name in one of my tweets to start some sort of a controversy or to gain publicity or anything like that, and now that he’s throwing accusations my way, like using steroids.. I feel the need to reply. So please allow me to retort. I’m a lifelong proud drug free straight edge individual, so Chris and I come from two completely different worlds. I don’t have a manager, I don’t have a bodyguard.. I don’t need a bodyguard. I don’t have an assistant, I have no need for a PR to tell me what to tweet, or when to tweet. And I don’t hit women. Period. In my world, women are to be revered and respected. And I firmly believe that in this life there are consequences and repercussions for people’s actions, and I don’t think Chris has payed for what he’s done. Picking up trash on the side of a highway does not make amends for repeatedly striking a woman in the face and sending her to a hospital. So, Chris wants to throw stones my way now and I say that’s fine, but put some gloves on and get in the ring. And I will choke you out, and I will make you feel as weak and as powerless and scared and alone as any woman who has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself, and all proceeds can go to a woman’s shelter of my choosing. If you want to pick up more trash on the side of the highway to make some amends, you should donate more time.. maybe tell kids exactly what you did isn’t right. But I’m also a realist, and I know that none of these things will happen because Chris Brown isn’t a man and that’s fine.. I just know that someday, somewhere, somehow, somebody will put Chris Brown exactly where he belongs, and it honestly doesn’t have to be me.. I would just really like it to be.
(Source: shaulguerreros, via twentythreesaransdreaming)
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